Keep Your Head Above

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Thu, 23 May 2013 09:56:12 -0400

alexissecrets: suicidal-smiles: darkened—wonderland: THIS...

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:55:18 -0400

alexissecrets:

suicidal-smiles:

darkened—wonderland:

THIS FUCKING THIS

B

chemicaldarkshine: hardestcopy: bijou1986: A Mom went to have...

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:54:52 -0400

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

BEST MOM

I’m crYING

(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:44:19 -0400

(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”

Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”

Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”

Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”

(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

library-of-crazy-221b: niknak79: He’s tripping on acid I...

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:21:48 -0400

library-of-crazy-221b:

niknak79:

He’s tripping on acid

I tried to scroll past

like-snape-loved-lily: profanity-generator: cummanding: they...

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:20:20 -0400

like-snape-loved-lily:

profanity-generator:

cummanding:

they forgot internet explorer

he’s still loading

^ omg

pleatedjeans: This is What Yahoo Bought With its $1.1 Billion...

Thu, 23 May 2013 09:19:24 -0400

pleatedjeans:

This is What Yahoo Bought With its $1.1 Billion (25 Pics)

Currently hating life cause I still haven’t finished my psych IA…and it’s due...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:18:08 -0400

Currently hating life cause I still haven’t finished my psych IA…and it’s due tomorrow….

typical: c0mp-lex: Lawl <333 it’s so cute omg

Wed, 22 May 2013 18:51:27 -0400

typical:

c0mp-lex:

Lawl <333

it’s so cute omg

Photo

Wed, 22 May 2013 15:49:56 -0400

scvlptures: depression is when you don’t really care about anything anxiety is when you care too...

Wed, 22 May 2013 15:48:10 -0400

scvlptures:

depression is when you don’t really care about anything

anxiety is when you care too much about everything

and having both is just like what

rubywhiterabbit: calderonbeta: feralcastiel: can you imagine if twitter existed in the 1800s abe...

Wed, 22 May 2013 15:46:20 -0400

rubywhiterabbit:

calderonbeta:

feralcastiel:

can you imagine if twitter existed in the 1800s

abe lincoln tweeting shit like “wow this play sucks just shoot me”

too soon

HE WAS SHOT IN 1865

alrights: alrights: alrights: help im broke i spent all my money on coffee jk i have 5 more...

Wed, 22 May 2013 15:44:20 -0400

alrights:

alrights:

alrights:

help im broke i spent all my money on coffee

jk i have 5 more dollars just enough for another coffee

help im broke i spent all my money on coffee

Sports Award Ceremony!

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:54:12 -0400

Sports Award Ceremony!

lovequotesrus: EVERYTHING LOVE

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:17:03 -0400

lovequotesrus:

EVERYTHING LOVE

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Mon, 20 May 2013 23:16:28 -0400

the-absolute-best-posts: dlovato-news: Demi telling Ben Stiller...

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:15:49 -0400

the-absolute-best-posts:

dlovato-news:

Demi telling Ben Stiller to buy her album

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:30:48 -0400

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:29:11 -0400

shekillswithkissesxo: miaw

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:28:58 -0400

shekillswithkissesxo:

miaw